“The Bed”

“If a husband and wife both agree that they want to try something like…”

The Bible says that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4). Scripture never says what a husband and wife are or are not allowed to do sexually. Husbands and wives are instructed, “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time (1 Corinthians 7:5a). This verse perhaps lays down the principle for sexual relations in marriage. Whatever is done, it should be mutually agreed upon. No one should be encouraged or coerced to do something he or she is uncomfortable with or thinks is wrong. If a husband and wife both agree that they want to try something (e.g., oral sex, different positions, sex toys, etc.), then the Bible does not give any reason why they cannot.

There are a few things, though, that are never allowable sexually for a married couple. The practice of “swapping,” or “swinging/swingers,” or “bringing in an extra” (threesomes, foursomes, etc.) is blatant adultery (Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3;Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3). Adultery is sin even if your spouse allows, approves, or even participates in it. Pornography appeals to the “lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes” (1 John 2:16) and is therefore condemned by God as well. A husband and wife should never bring pornography into their sexual union. Other than these two items, there is nothing that Scripture explicitly forbids a husband and wife to do with each other as long as it is by mutual consent.

Tags: Intamacy, love, marriage, pornography, Pure Sex, Sex Positions, Sex Toys

“Wet Dreams, Are They Or Are They Not A Sin?”

We are back at it folks! Once again, we will be diving into some touchy topics that ordinary people deal with and the church at times might not feel comfortable adressing them. I was asked this question by a church memeber “Pastor, is a wet dream a sin?” So he it goes, I pray you enjoy this info and it helps you with your Christian walk!

Wet dreams are fairly common in the lives of men. The Bible mentions “emissions” in a few places (Leviticus 15:16,18,32; 22:4; Deuteronomy 23:10). Deuteronomy 23:10 specifically refers to nocturnal emissions: “If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he is to go outside the camp and stay there.” Many young men (and older men) struggle with this concept. Is a wet dream / nocturnal emission sinful? How can it be a sin if we have no control over it?

Ultimately, we cannot control what we dream about or what happens with our bodies while we are asleep. However, if we are filling our minds with lustful / sinful things during the day, it will likely show up in our dreams. A nocturnal emission is a natural bodily function that is made more frequent by sexual over-stimulation. A nocturnal emission is not sinful in and of itself, but it can be the result of sinful thoughts, desires, and input. If you have a wet dream / nocturnal emission, examine your thought life. Examine what sort of images you are exposing yourself to. If you find that you have allowed yourself to be “inflamed” by lust, confess that to the Lord and asking for His help in overcoming it. In such a case, the wet dream / nocturnal emission is the result of sin, not a sin in and of itself. Follow the words of Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

If you find that the nocturnal emission / wet dream was simply the result of the body naturally “relieving itself,” you do not need to confess anything to the Lord. The Old Testament law was very ceremonial in its treatment of bodily discharges, for men and women. Thankfully, we are not bound by these regulations. A man who has had a wet dream / nocturnal emission is not “unclean.” Again, the issue is what is going on with your mind. The reactions of our bodies are the result of what takes place in our minds (Matthew 12:34-35).

Tags: lust, Masturbation, Nocturnal Emission, sex, Unclean, Wet Dreams

“I Want To Marry My Sister!”

Who’s Cain’s Wife?

The Bible does not specifically say who Cain’s wife was. The only possible answer is that Cain’s wife was his sister or niece or great-niece, etc. The Bible does not say how old Cain was when he killed Abel (Genesis 4:8). Since they were both farmers, they were likely both full-grown adults, possibly with families of their own. Adam and Eve surely had given birth to more children than just Cain and Abel at the time Abel was killed. They definitely had many more children later (Genesis 5:4). The fact that Cain was scared for his own life after he killed Abel (Genesis 4:14) indicates that there were likely many other children and perhaps even grandchildren of Adam and Eve already living at that time. Cain’s wife (Genesis 4:17) was a daughter or granddaughter of Adam and Eve.

Since Adam and Eve were the first (and only) human beings, their children would have no other choice than to intermarry. God did not forbid inter-family marriage until much later when there were enough people to make intermarriage unnecessary (Leviticus 18:6-18). “The reason that incest today often results in genetic abnormalities is that when two people of similar genetics (i.e., a brother and sister) have children together, there is a high risk of their recessive characteristics becoming dominant. When people from different families have children, it is highly unlikely that both parents will carry the same recessive traits. The human genetic code has become increasingly “polluted” over the centuries as genetic defects are multiplied, amplified, and passed down from generation to generation.”

Tags: Abel, Cain, Inter-Family Marriage, Lot